The Interview.

First of all, I was skeptical about putting my suit in the cleaners on Thursday for a Monday morning pick-up. I set my alarm for 8:45 am. I had woken up a half-hour before it went off.

Knowing my body I went through the morning routine took care of all bodily functions. Made the coffee and that’s where things unraveled.

I’ve been drinking coffee for over 20 years. Around five years in, I started going beyond the usual ground coffee grocery store variety. I bought whole beans and a grinder. It is a huge difference. It’s not that complicated. It adds maybe a minute or two, to the normal process of making coffee. The electronic grinders are fast.

A simple process. Put the beans in the cover and then pour the beans into the grinder when you place the cover on the grinder, that starts the grinding. Wait about thirty seconds and then dump your fresh grounds into the coffee machine.

That’s what I thought I did. I went ahead and brushed my teeth. I exited the bathroom that strong coffee brewing smell was faint but noticeable. I disregarded that. And then the coffee itself was extremely light. To the point, I could see straight through to the bottom of the cup. Like you would see with a cup of tea.

When I tasted it that too was a sign. Something was off.

But I was on a schedule. I got up earlier enough to take care of what I thought was a simple process of uploading my video to YouTube.

Adobe Premiere had other plans. It decided to not compress the video file from 4 GB to about 400 MB as it did last night.

Even though I applied the built-in YouTube codec.

Last night the same process worked perfectly. Figured I will compress the file this morning and I should be able to post when I get out of the shower. Again the codec is set to YouTube a built-in feature that comes with Adobe Premiere.

I get out of the shower the file is done compressing. I take a listen, the glitch is still there but not as noticeable.

I upload it to YouTube. That’s when I noticed something was off. Once it loaded I copied the link to Twitter but I didn’t like that unlike when you copy a YouTube link in iPhone messages the receiver gets a preview window. The entire video will play just from the link embedded in the text message. Pretty cool and effective trick. You get to see the video workout having to engage much with the device. Sans audio if what you see is appealing to the eye you then click on it to fully engage.

Twitter doesn’t do that. Defeats the purpose of my goal which was to have the video play in the tweet. I figured no sweat. I’ll just upload the compressed file. I wasn’t sure if 400 Mb would be beyond YouTube tech specifics. The only newly compressed file I saw was the uncompressed 4 Gb. I was confused. I did the same thing last night. Why didn’t it compress?

But this video editing. It’s been like that ever since I started in 1999. In between this and the shower I got suspicious did I. ground the coffee beans? Nope.

I put them on the cover as whole beans – then dumped the whole beans into my coffee machine. So now things are going from ridiculous to absurd. Oh, I still needed to go get my suit. I prepaid for it which was good because I lost the ticket. Of course, I just had the damn thing the night before thought I put it somewhere I could find it. Like my wallet. In any event, I was able to get it without any issues.

Yet before I left to get it I got a call from a different company for possible employment. I couldn’t blow off the call so I stayed in the house while on the phone, which cost me about fifteen or so minutes. The last thing I wanted to do was be in a rush while leaving. Of course, now I was. And man did things get nuts. After I got dressed drama free I threw everything in my bag.

No way to leave anything behind. I get in the elevator and immediately rifle my bag, no wallet.

I go back in the pad. Searched all over. I had the damn thing when I was looking for my laundry ticket. I left the bag in the hallway outside of my apartment. I go back out to the hall toss the contents on the floor. No wallet. Back in the apartment, I checked my jeans and there it was. Ok, let’s go. I hit the door fly out. Left my glasses.

Now I have five minutes or I’m late for the appointment.

I find the glasses relatively fast but still, now I’m sweating-dripping to be exact in a suit in late winter. Not good. I all of sudden couldn’t locate the paper towels so I grab a face cloth. I get to the train station and the train will arrive in one minute – and it does.

Finally, I’m on the road. I see the address though has a westside address that is closer to the eastside so the train I live near the 8th Ave local won’t work. I transfer to W4th for the 6th Ave lines. The M shows up, I board.

I get to midtown and noticed the appointment was for 12-not 1230 it’s already 12:15. I could have sworn I agreed to 12:30.

Nevertheless, I walk in and announce that I have a 12:30 appointment. Now a few years back for a Trader Joe’s interview, the 4 train as it does most of the time crawls between the express stops. Goes so slow it’s routine for a local to lap it to the point you question the need for an express line. Not like the manager at Trader Joe’s care. She dismissed me though I was late it was by ten minutes. That’s not what happened here.

The interview went as planned and now I’m on my way to the social security office to get a temporary card so that I can start working.

The odd thing is I haven’t needed the card in years. Not one job asked for it. And keep in mind I’m in security. Yet this job and another one demanded I have it. Yet all they will do is make a copy. Also, if I say I am not who I say I am, how in the world did the state renew my security guard license? Or allow me to obtain my fire life safety director certificate?

Due to covid, you can’t just walk into the social security office. I had to set up an appointment just to walk in with a copy of my driver’s license in a white envelope. But I was told I could get it done faster online.

Went to the site everything went well until I tried to register my username. Which is usually my old street tag name from my graffiti days. I do not add numbers unless prompted. If needed I can make it fit the 8–20 characters. I did everything the site said to create a username. Still, for a half-hour, it kept telling me I was using my social security number as a username. Wtf? I wasn’t.

There was nothing else to try at this point. I refreshed it and started over. No dice. So I booked an 8:15 Monday morning appointment to get a card I’ve barely used in most of my adult life for what reason I have no idea just so a copy can be made. (maybe I should make copies of all my credentials ahead of time, the day of the interview I can submit it along with my resume? But I can see already see petty HR insisting they must make the copies themselves).

So despite our 21st century reality I have to wait three weeks to get a card I never use because the website can’t figure out what a username is.

Figures, like government cheese, you get what you pay for.